Working
Moms: Beware of Your Kids' Psychological Disorder
Nowadays, for
any kid to get a full time mom is not so easy. The trend has
been changing. Today a mother is a fulltime
office going woman or a business women.
Kids are not
getting that much time they need from their mom. The
working mothers have to go out, leaving their children. Though
they try to arrange the best thing for their kids, sometimes the
kids face many
psychological problems or diseases. And many of us are unknown
to those. Some of the kids begin to hate their mom, some start
to talk ill words, some suffer from insecurity complex, some
don’t want to eat for the anger that grows because of being
neglected by mom, some becomes stubborn because of loneliness,
don’t want to sleep, behave brutally etc.
All of these sometimes effect them also physically and they
might become sick.
So
whether to stay home with her children or continue working is
one of the critical and most wrenching decision for a woman.
Today moms across the country are finding innovative solution
and they are constantly adopting them to suit their and their
children’s need.
Separation Anxiety:
Naturally
kids want to be cared by their mom and be by their side
all the time. Because from the very first moment after
their birth they come in touch of moms.
A mother’s touch send the signal to his brain that this
is the person who brought you in the world. Thus a interpersonal
bond has been made between a mother and a child. They start to
think that they are at the most secured place in their
mothers' lap. The primary conditions for their living, all are
served by mom. That’s why children are totally depended on
their mother. After all this dependence, when mom starts to go
to office or outside for work and they are given to baby
sitters, maid servants or grand parents, usually the children
get nervous and upset without mom
for 8 to 10 hours a day. Insecurity complex grows when they are
left by the most loving person on the earth. A confusion is made
by the children psychology. They start suffering from separation
anxiety.
Rumination disorder:
If a child
starts separated from the mom, his or her anxiety turns to
anger. Sometimes kids begin to suffer from eating disorder.
Specially it happens to the kids of one
to four years. Most of the time, they become skinny,
lean and thin. They
show their angers and madness against their moms by refusing to
eat. If anyone force them, they cry, sometimes vomit. They
don’t chew only seat for hour with food in their mouth.
In doctors dictionary it is called Rumination
disorder.
Ipika:
A special
diseases caused by lack of mothers' proper care affection is named
Ipika. Though it’s a rare diseases, they
who suffer from this diseases, like to eat non-food material
rather than food. Actually, by this behaviour, the child attracts their mom’s attention and affection.
Sleeping disorder:
Those
who suffer from separation anxiety because of mom’s leaving
home, have got problem with sleep. Sometimes some kids try to be
awake till their moms returns home. They think when they go to
bed, again the mother is going to leave .Some children, time to time wake
up to find out whether their mom is by their side or not.
Because of the insufficiency of proper sleep they become slowly
mood swing. Mom should tell their kid before leaving home,
otherwise this type
of problem might occur.
Don’t give anything they want:
Some parents
think that as none of them can give much time to their kids,
they should be served whenever or whatever they want . But
it is not the proper way to express the love. To make-up, some parents bring new toys and gifts while returning
home. But this might bring a very bad effect to your
children’s future life. They may become used to get everything, whenever
they want . As a result the kid’s tolerance power begins to
decrease. In future they will
be very upset and
frustrated if they don’t get anything that they want. If you provide
your kids with the daily wants, in future they
will be either materialistic or will face emotional problem.
Some of them even might become suicidal, some might become drug
addicted. So stop buying toys everyday instead try to let them understand
that they cannot get everything they want.
What Should you do:
Not every working
or office going mom faces this problem. Some of the kids suffer
for this problem.
Parents have to think about their physical as well as
psychological needs to fulfill. A mom can solve it easily with
the help of the father. In our country the maternity leave is
granted only for 3 months, so most of the time it is a tough
decision for the mother whether to choose, to stay home or
continue working. Here are some coping strategies from work/
family experts:
--Try to spend
as much time as possible with your children, select the right
person who really can take care and
look after your kid properly.
--Sit down
with your husband and divide the duties , who will pick up the
laundry, who will do dry cleaning, who will cook; share all
those stuff with him so that you can give much more time to your
child while you are at home.
--If you are feeling
guilty take steps to alleviate it. Set aside an extra 15
minutes to spend with your baby before you leave for work or if
possible check in of your child during the day.
--If
you others make feel ashamed of your choice discuss your feeling
with women in your situation and keep in mind that only you know
what is best for your family.