During pregnancy, you undergo many changes , both physical and
emotion . How you react to these changes, how openly you can
talk with your partner and whether your caregiver makes you
feel comfortable discussing lovemaking all play a role in your
attitude as a couple toward sex during pregnancy.
Your husband may find you more desirable now because body is
carrying his child. Or, he may worry about the effects sexual
intercourse might have on the growing baby in terms of
miscarriage or harm. Unless you have a history of
miscarriage or other problems, this concern is unnecessary,
check with your caregiver to be reassured about a health
pregnancy.
At the beginning of your pregnancy, you and your
husband should decide together to remain physically
close, even if you go through times of lessened sexual
activity. Touching, snuggling, caressing, or massaging, not
necessarily leading to sex, can keep both of you feeling
open, warm and loving toward each other. Accepting both
positive and negative feelings is necessary for dealing with
each other and , of course, with your caregiver will help ensure
that your pregnancy gets off to a good start.
Early pregnancy classes are a good place to talk about sexuality
and your changing body in relation to lovemaking. Prepared childbirth
classes another good opportunity, although much of your pregnancy
will be behind you by the time you take them.
First Trimester
The first trimester of pregnancy can be an exciting time
with both you and your partner feeling very good about yourselves
and your pregnant body .You may feel beautiful, exhilarated at
the thought of a new life growing within you, and very
close to your mate . You might also find yourself
easily fatigued nauseated, anxious, and very emotional. Your husband
may be proud and excited about the new life he has helped
create. At the same time , he may feel anxious or rejected
because you are now concentrating your love and
attention on your developing child.
The first 3 months are certainly a time of adjustment for both
you and your husband. Wide mood swings are normal for both of you.
you will also experience changes in your body and in
your relationship. While you continue to love each other
as much as or even more than before the pregnancy, your physical
expression of that love is often altered sometimes to a surprising
degree ! Pleases be assured that this is not
unique to you. Whatever your feelings desires, needs, or
concerns, they have been experienced by countless other
couples. Be aware that there is a wide range of emotions
, needs, and concerns. Some women experience increased sexual
desires during the first trimester, others, especially if
feeling nauseated or fatigued, have a decreased desire .Even
if you are nauseated, you will appreciate the touching and
caressing from a good back rub by your
husband . Both of you will enjoy a warm hug and kiss.
Second Trimester
During the second trimester, your growing uterus is beginning
to bulge your abdomen, thought usually not to the extent that it is
in the way or makes sex uncomfortable. Some women
experience a decline in sexual enjoyment as the pregnancy advances,
while other feel increased pleasure. Again, if you are open with
each other and responsive to each others' sexual needs, you can eliminate many of the
problems.
Some of your initial physical complaints of
pregnancy have probably disappeared by the third of fourth
month . Usually the nausea and fatigue have passed, and you
feel more relaxed now that the chance of miscarriage
has diminished.
Third
Trimester
As you move
into the third trimester,
however, you may find even simple movements - such as
getting in and out of bed, bending forward, and
even standing, walking or sitting in and out of bed to be very
awkward and difficult. This physical clumsiness may keep you
from enjoying sexual enter course. On the other hand, increased pelvic
congestion may arouse sexual desires, which are relieved by
orgasm. Your partner may also feel some restraints in
enjoyment. He may be uncomfortable feeling the baby moving
while he is making love to you. He may also
initiate sex less frequently as he assumes more protective
role . Do not misinterpret this as rejection.
As
your waistline expands and your body enlarges, you may start to view
yourself differently and may find it difficult to feel sexy.
This feeling may be reinforced by other people's attempts and humor when
they comment on your changing shape. Just remember, you are
pregnant, not fat, and this growth is essential
for a healthy baby. You can be assured that your former figure
will return after the birth.
You may have already tried a
variety of positions to increase your comfort during
intercourse. If your pregnancy has advanced to the point where it is
almost in the way, you may find that having your partner on top
but slightly to the side avoids the discomfort caused by his
weight pressing on your abdomen. This position
also gives you more mobility and lessens penetration
of the penis. You might find that your being on
top is more comfortable as you can better control the degree
of penetration. Some couples, however, find that this position
results in deeper penetration and causes more
discomfort.
You might be comfortable and satisfied with
lying positions. Or, your mate can enter from behind with you either kneeling or standing , using the
bed for support , or lying on your side. In these
positions, you can control the degree of penetration and can
relieve the abdominal pressure. You can also lie close to the
edge of the bed and have your partner support your
legs with his arms or shoulders. Needless to say,
experimenting to find the position that affords the
most comfort and satisfaction is
important, as is a sense of humor!
Many
couples find alternatives to sexual intercourse at this point
in the pregnancy. Remember that massaging, touching, and
caressing provide close physical contact, which is just as
important as intercourse for both of you. Some couples
find that genital manipulation and mutual masturbation
provide good sexual gratification. Even self - masturbation can be
relieving. Some couples enjoy oral sex. However, a word of caution
is necessary concerning cunnilingus ( oral stimulation of the female
genitals) j. Air should not be forced into the vagina at
any time during pregnancy, as a rare phenomenon called
air embolism can result. Because of the increased masculinity
during pregnancy, air that passes into the uterus
can enter the woman's bloodstream and cause
serious problems and even death. If you enjoy oral sex. it
is fine to continue the practice as long as you
are aware of this one restriction.
Unless you
spotting or have a history of miscarriages, you should
consider pregnancy to be a sign of physical health. You
should continue your life as normally as possible,
keeping in mind that intercourse will not harm your baby
and can be continued throughout pregnancy. If you
leak fluid from your vagina, experience pain in
your pelvic region, or bleed vaginally, contact your
caregiver immediately. Orgasms do cause the uterus to
contract. However, the uterus contracts the same
way with Broxton-Hicks contractions, which are perfectly natural
during pregnancy. But if your caregiver advises against
orgasm, you need to adjust two other practices if you are at
risk for preterm labor. First, avoid touching your
nipples, as this releases oxytocin, a hormone that
causes uterine contractions. Second, since semen contains prostaglandin's,
which can also stimulate contractions, your partner may
need to wear a condom, if you are permitted to continue sex. In
addition your caregiver should know if you have a medical
problem that requires you to alter your position
or frequency of intercourse or to stop it altogether.
Otherwise, most professionals believe that couples can continue
to enjoy intercourse until labor begins or the water breaks.
Therefore, experiment and enjoy!
